I guess it's official. My last day with the hospital will be 12/31/2007. It kinda hurts. I loved my job, but I cannot deal with the stress of the two bosses over me always threatening me with writeups I don't feel I deserve. I will move on to bigger and better things.
I dreamed last night I had a black panther and a huge snake in my home. Oh my! I also dream about this one person who is no longer a part of my life, although I still wish he was, but I can never remember what I dreamed about him after I wake up, only that I dreamed about him. Another family member dreams about him like I do, but in her dreams he is always apologizing. A lot of people believe our dreams mean something. Me? I dunno.
I know my illness is wrecking my life. It is costing me friendships and now it has cost me my job because I quit in a fit of rage. Justifiable rage, but nevertheless, rage. That is so not me. I am more like my Carebear normally, very laid back and easy going with a long fuse, not some raging lunatic. Where did I go? I want me back!!!!!!!!
I spent the day in the ER. My symptoms keep getting worse. The chronic pain becomes almost unbearable at times. Today I felt real faint. They gave me a shot for pain (antiinflammatory). I am STILL hurting. Looking and praying for better days!
Merry Christmas!~
12 comments:
Girl, I have been having some weird-ass dreams myself. the hell? Maybe I need to stop eating late at night or something....
You know, I wouldn't worry about the rage thing......you lapsed on the Lexapro, right? Besides, it makes people afraid of you. WORK WITH ME HERE! Hee....
I stopped taking my Lexapro and have been getting some dizzy spells, too. Between that and my crappy eating habits....eh.. I really think you need some narcotics for your pain. I can't even express how much they've helped me. Did you take Cymbalta before? Cymbalta and some Vicodin....you would be feeling pretty alright... Why don't I just go to the doctors with you....ROFL...
::hug hug hug::
~A
((Hugs)) Keeping you in my prayers on the smoke. I noticed Amy said you used to take Lexapro or are still taking it........I tried to quit that medication on my own a few times. I had as Amy mentioned dizzy spells, black outs. It took 3 months for my Dr. to wean me off the medication when he felt I was ready. Even then I still had bouts of nausea and dizziness for a month afterwards. (Hugs) Indigo
I think its good you quit work
I will pray for you that the pain goes away and God heals you of whatever is the cause!! It sounds to me like the job may be adding to the stress and your pain and maybe even causing your more symptoms!! It may be a great thing for you to be moving on to something new and better!!! Many hugs!
Lisa
Hi hon, I'm so sorry you're feeling so crappy, especially now, during the holidays. I hope you feel better soon. I deal with chronic pain daily so know how hard it is, how difficult to cope at times. Stay strong, keep a tight hold on your faith. The LORD will come through for you. He always does. Big hugs. Wish they could be real ones.
Merry Christmas.
Love you,
Barb- http://journals.aol.com/barbpinion/HEYLETSTALK
Susan, I'm so sorry you are suffering so much. I hope they can find out what is wrong and help you... Linda
Sometimes with dealing with all that pain a person can get a little upset! I sure hope they are able to help you figure out what's going on. Hang in there!!
Carrie
When my pain is out of control it is all I can deal with. One thing at a time, not several. Hope they figure it out and you feel better soon.
Julie
Next year is waiting for you all shiny and new....
Big Hugs!!
Linda :)
Big hugs to you. I'm sorry about the job. Will say a prayer. God can and does make things better. Like you said...go on to bigger and better things and just start looking forward to it. If you are not feeling well, and in pain, then no wonder you were emotional and in a rage.
Sonya
Susan
In the midst of all you are going through you ask us to remember others: Our troops! See? You are still in there, don't give up! I am so sorry you spent the day in the emergency room, bit you are back home now and I hope feeling just a little better. That you quit the job is a good thing in that it will relieve the stress. If you are meant to be working, you will have another job, I am sure. Do not give up! Christmas, amongst other things is a celebration of hope and I have so much hope for you! I do wish you and family a very Merry Chistmas! Remember: "Let go and let God!" I'm sure you understand this saying, if not Email me.
Sam
God bless you Susan! I know from being here with Pete how trying and tiring it can be dealing with pain day in and day out. My prayers are with you. - Barbara
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