Southern Born and Southern Bred!~

Dear Journal,

It has been a beautiful weekend, but I have not been able to work in the yard even a little bit.  Hubby and I went to his Mom's a few days ago and burned some brush for her.  Hubby was on the tractor using it to push the brush away from the woods in a nice big pile, so we wouldn't set the woods on fire, as it has been quite dry lately.  I raked up the excess the tractor left behind.  I have severe blisters on both hands.  They have been very painful.  I had gloves with me, but left them in the truck.  Now ain't I jest real smart? :-P

Anyway, my Mom sent me this funny email about southerners, which I find to be mostly both true and hysterical, so I thought it would make a good post.  Here it is:

THINGS I'VE LEARNED BY LIVING IN THE SOUTH:

Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in The South.

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in The South, plus a couple no one's seen before.

If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

 

Onced and twiced are words.

 

It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.

 

People actually grow and eat okra.

Fixinto is one word.

There is no such thing as "lunch." You eat Breakfast, Dinner and
Supper.

Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking

it when you're two. And we do like a little tea with our sugar!

Backards and forwards means "I know everything about you."

DJeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"

You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what

time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see. 

You don't PUSH OR PRESS buttons, you MASH them.

 

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM THE SOUTH IF:
*You measure distance in minutes.

*You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

 

*You use "fixinto" as a verb. Example: "I'm fixinto go to the store."

*All the festivals across the states are named after a fruit,
vegetable, grain, insect or animal.

*You install security lights on your house and garage and leave

both unlocked.

*You know what a "DAWG" is.

 

*You carry jumper cables in your car ..........for your OWN car.

*You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.

*The local papers cover national and international news on one

page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.

*You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
 

*You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm."
 
*You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.
 
*Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as "goin' Wal-martin" or off to "Wally World."
 
*You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good
pinto-bean weather.
 
*A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop... it's a Coke,
regardless of brand or flavor. Example: "What kinda coke you want?"
 
*Fried catfish is the other white meat.
 
*We don't need no stinking driver's ed... if our mama says we can drive, we can drive.
 
*You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from The South (and those who just wish they were).
 
Not EVERYONE can be SOUTHERN, it's an art form and a gift from God! 

***AMERICAN BY BIRTH -SOUTHERN BY THE GRACE OF GOD***

 

 

Guess I will work on the bookwork I am so far behind on.  ::sigh::

 

Later,

 

Susan